Why don't the work people who you thought were friends keep in touch?

I've kept in touch with some work friends but they refuse to respond to e-mails or calls or don't respond in good time. I've realized these people aren't true friends, but we are friends, albeit work friends.



Sometimes I'll have a work-related question. Or I try to give them something that can help them in their work (this doesn't happen often as I don't always know what will help them). I also try to check in occasionally and ask how they are (with no other motivation than to say hello and hope they are well, as I truly hope they are well). I might tell them something personal about myself in order to be giving and let them know me better, which regretfully I should have done more of when we were working together at the office.



But this seems to no avail. It's only me who's keeping in touch. It's true that I think these people could help me more than I could them, but don't they know that you never know who could help you in the future? Why don't they keep in touch?Why don't the work people who you thought were friends keep in touch?
I have done the same thing over the years. Found people that I use to be in the military with and tried contacting them. Of the hundreds that I knew, only 4 families do we have any contact with.and only one of them would I consider consistent contact. The other 3 will respond around the holidays most of the time. Other than that it could be weeks before we get any kind of response.

As for you question, should you just write them off, no really. It doesnt take much to send a letter or email. And it will keep you in their minds. You never know when it will just click that they would like to talk with you.

I would spend some time building new relationships. Try outside of work. Do you like camping, cooking, travel etc? We have found several very good friend while camping (much more friendly group of people). We still get together every month and have dinners during the winter and over the camping season we get together every couple of weeks around the campfire.Why don't the work people who you thought were friends keep in touch?
I know exactly what your talking about. The same thing happened to me, everything was great when working together, and everyone was sad when I left and said they would stay in -touch and we would go to lunch on occasion,etc.



It seems like once you leave a job, you do not matter as much to the people that are still there - they are more concerned with socially interacting with others that they still work with. It makes no sense to me.



The advice that I would give you is to try to give the benefit of the doubt FOR NOW- maybe they are busy, etc. If you dont hear from them in 1 month- give it one more shot- then if you still do not get a response, I would give up because you do not want to get on their nerves, and you do not want a friend who only speaks to you on rare occassion.
Sounds like your making the attempt to be nice and they arent interested. If they need you or would like to talk, let them come to you. If they dont, its best to just move on (in good terms)



Just find others who will talk