Sunday, November 14, 2010

How do you work with people who are dating?

Two key people who work in our office are openly dating. They often leave at the same time to run errands and take exotic vacations together. It's uncomfortable since I have too work closely with both of them - and they cover for each other when there is missed time. It doesn't seem fair to the rest of us because we have to watch what we say around them, they cover for each other when one leaves the office, and sometimes they leave together and are gone for long periods of time. We are a very small office so the behavior is noticeable - and no one else in the office is related or dating.



I ignore it and just keep working. But I don't approve of it.



What would you do?How do you work with people who are dating?
The focus in the workplace should be on work behaviors and performance. So... you are justified in observing and being annoyed at the behaviors they are exhibiting such as being out of the office for long periods of time, etc. You would have the same issue with a single person who was doing the same thing, right? If their actions and behaviors affect you in a professional way, then you must deal with it as with any other workplace issue. Speak with either or both of them about the impact on you.



As for having to watch what you say around them... well, you need to watch what you say around anyone in the office because you never know what interpersonal situations exist. Consider yourself lucky that you are aware of this relationship and can censor yourself accordingly. And just remember to keep your own attitude focused on the business impact, not on your personal opinion of the appropriateness of a workplace relationship.How do you work with people who are dating?
Really tough situation! Good luck.

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Ask yourself ';How does what they do affect me?';



Why do you have to watch what you say? Are you talking about them?



Why does their covering for each other affect you, as long as the work is done?



Why does their leaving together and taking exotic vacations together matter to you?



The only time an office romance should be a problem is if it is a supervisor dating a subordinate. This may lead to favoritism.
Unless your company has a policy against inter-office dating, or their behavior crosses the line of harassment, there's not much you can do. If their relationship is that obvious, then I would assume that your company's management also knows about it. If they haven't done anything about it, they must not be against it. Personally, I believe they should be professional enough to keep their personal life separate from their work (my current husband and I met at work, and no one knew we were dating until after we were engaged), but regardless, their personal life is just that - personal. Whether or not you personally approve of it is irrelevant. Until their manager(s) decide their job performance is being affected, there's really not much you can do about it but learn to deal with it.

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