Im okay for talking to people in everyday situations such as Customers at work, People at my local Gym, Random people you chatter to in shops...
I guess that's because they aren't there for long and i don't have to keep up any sort of on going conversation and i don't have to ';Get to know them'; or let them get to know me.
I wouldn't say i am shy, i am rather confident and i usually make a good first impression.
Its 2nd and 3rd impressions that i have trouble with!
I just have a hard time getting know someone in a long term basis. Whether it's a friendship or a relationship.
I just have this belief that in time sooner or later the person in question is going to find things they don't like about me.
I have ended relationships because of this - iv'e never had a real relationship! My record is 3 weeks.
I don't feel as though i fit in with ';Normal'; people. Im a bit of a gym addict, i have my routine and i get really anxious if its disrupted by anything.
I am very particular about food and what i eat and i will admit i am rather obsessed with my body shape.
I don't like to refer to myself as ';Anorexic'; because im not teeny tiny but people tell me im under weight but i disagree.
Anyway - These are things i imagine people will find irritating about me.
Especially when you consider most social activities involve eating and drinking.
I know that i should let people decide for themselves whether or not they like me rather than just assuming they'll hate me.
But i think the reason i dont give them a chance is because i cant imagine how upset i'd be if they said i was irritating, weird, obsessed............ what ever else they can come up with.
But at the same time - i want to change all this.
Im missing out on meeting people and having any sort of fun.Because of my ';Eating issues'; I find it hard getting to know new people?
In general pple have respect for those who respect themselves. Sounds like you do. Just stop worrying about what pple will find out those things are hardly deal breakers. Everyone has these things and they are generally overlooked by an attractive personality. Have some confidence dont be afraid, be yourself.Because of my ';Eating issues'; I find it hard getting to know new people?
Get therapy. It sounds like you might have OCD or something like it, and no one here on Answers can really help you. Also, anorexic women come in all shapes and sizes.... some are larger than others.
get over it kmopfsdnfjnds
first of all, just be yourself. Second, so what if you have a rigorous work out routine. Some people will actually respect you for that, if they don't respect the fact that you like to stick to your routine, then maybe they're not worth keeping as friends. And third, you can still go out to eat and drink, look at online menus and nutrition info so you can stick to your ';diet plan'; but still be social.
Sunday, December 11, 2011
How can I make lazy people work in groups for projects?
Hi,
I am very ticked off...
For my whole life, I have been the ONLY person doing projects. Everyone else in my assigned groups would jack off and not care. They even interrupt, and I can only speak about three times for 50 minutes...
This year, I am in groups again. There are four people in my group (including me). I am doing the powerpoint, while they are supposed to do the paragraphs (5 total). The three should also revise these paragraphs during class.
Everyone brought their paragraphs to class yesterday. One person did two paragraphs, one did one, and one did the opening+closing paragraph. I typed them up on the computer for 10 minutes, and revised them (even though they were supposed to do that). Today, I came into class, and they did not do anything. We were supposed to revise together, but instead they wanted to make chipmunk voices. I told all of them that one of them needs to take this essay and revive it more to fit the rubric (we were 350 words below the limit), and no one wanted to. I gave it to one of them, and he just dropped it on the floor and said he was not going to type it all over again (even though it would take 15 minutes) and revise it to fit the rubric limits. Also, the concluding paragraph was only two sentences.
Since no one grabbed the sheet, I had to... My parents hate bad grades, so I have to do the classmates work. However, it is not as simple as this. I have to make a powerpoint, which would take about 5 hours of my time to do.
How can I deal with people who don't want to work?How can I make lazy people work in groups for projects?
That sucks. I always hated group work too.
When my teachers assigned groups, there was always a warning that - we all had to participate and do our part. The teacher would ask us each to do anonymous evaluations of our teammates, and if one of us had bad remarks, it would be ';investigated'; and that person would either get no credit for the work done, or minimal credit or have to do their own project.
My teachers also encouraged us to talk to them in the event we had issues with a group member.
Maybe you can express your concerns to your teacher - don't rat out your members, but just tell the teacher that you think that group work is not always ideal because usually one or two people are stuck with majority of the work. But also express that you realize teamwork is important there has got to be a better way in terms of point distribution.
Unfortunately, no matter what safeguards a teacher has in place, you are always going to have a lazy team member - it is a harsh precursor to real life. There are going to be tons of lazy coworkers out there that you have to basically chip in for. But don't worry - your hard work will always be rewarded, and the lazy ones, well, they always get what's coming to them!
I am very ticked off...
For my whole life, I have been the ONLY person doing projects. Everyone else in my assigned groups would jack off and not care. They even interrupt, and I can only speak about three times for 50 minutes...
This year, I am in groups again. There are four people in my group (including me). I am doing the powerpoint, while they are supposed to do the paragraphs (5 total). The three should also revise these paragraphs during class.
Everyone brought their paragraphs to class yesterday. One person did two paragraphs, one did one, and one did the opening+closing paragraph. I typed them up on the computer for 10 minutes, and revised them (even though they were supposed to do that). Today, I came into class, and they did not do anything. We were supposed to revise together, but instead they wanted to make chipmunk voices. I told all of them that one of them needs to take this essay and revive it more to fit the rubric (we were 350 words below the limit), and no one wanted to. I gave it to one of them, and he just dropped it on the floor and said he was not going to type it all over again (even though it would take 15 minutes) and revise it to fit the rubric limits. Also, the concluding paragraph was only two sentences.
Since no one grabbed the sheet, I had to... My parents hate bad grades, so I have to do the classmates work. However, it is not as simple as this. I have to make a powerpoint, which would take about 5 hours of my time to do.
How can I deal with people who don't want to work?How can I make lazy people work in groups for projects?
That sucks. I always hated group work too.
When my teachers assigned groups, there was always a warning that - we all had to participate and do our part. The teacher would ask us each to do anonymous evaluations of our teammates, and if one of us had bad remarks, it would be ';investigated'; and that person would either get no credit for the work done, or minimal credit or have to do their own project.
My teachers also encouraged us to talk to them in the event we had issues with a group member.
Maybe you can express your concerns to your teacher - don't rat out your members, but just tell the teacher that you think that group work is not always ideal because usually one or two people are stuck with majority of the work. But also express that you realize teamwork is important there has got to be a better way in terms of point distribution.
Unfortunately, no matter what safeguards a teacher has in place, you are always going to have a lazy team member - it is a harsh precursor to real life. There are going to be tons of lazy coworkers out there that you have to basically chip in for. But don't worry - your hard work will always be rewarded, and the lazy ones, well, they always get what's coming to them!
How can I get the people I work with to respect my office more?
I'm very big on respect. Respecting others, respecting property and respecting space like offices. Well I have my own office at work and a few occasions the people I work with (i work in a dental office) barge in like they own the place. I want them to respect my office! lol
So my question is, how do I get them to respect my office? How can I decorate it? Just how?
Thanks to all who reply, I appreciate it.How can I get the people I work with to respect my office more?
Does it bother you because they are interrupting you, or just on principal? Are you close to them, and they are treating you like a friend? Or are you not close and they are just barging in because they don't like/respect you? Usually a closed door means ';knock'; regardless. I would find a cute sign that says, ';Knock, please.'; Or you could just confront them as they do it. Or speak out in a meeting. Be assertive. If your office locks, try locking it while you're in, until they get used to knocking.
I would say for decorating, the more professional you go, the more people will respect you. Having a desk cluttered in junk, with tons of personal pictures won't help. A pic or two of family or friends, hang up an official document or nice, office friendly picture. Keep it warm with some curtains, and chairs for sitting. Warm, but professional. Without seeing more or knowing more about you I couldn't give more advice.How can I get the people I work with to respect my office more?
People who respect other have respect from others.
It has nothing to do with how your office is decorated. I would include chairs for other members of the Office to sit in and join you.
Neat, clean, contemporary office furnishings. Maybe a decorative sign that says ';respect';. Most of all, your attitude toward others determines how they will treat both you and your space. But it seams like you know that. Good Luck!
If your business allows it:
Shut the door and put up a sign that says ';Please knock before entering!';
So my question is, how do I get them to respect my office? How can I decorate it? Just how?
Thanks to all who reply, I appreciate it.How can I get the people I work with to respect my office more?
Does it bother you because they are interrupting you, or just on principal? Are you close to them, and they are treating you like a friend? Or are you not close and they are just barging in because they don't like/respect you? Usually a closed door means ';knock'; regardless. I would find a cute sign that says, ';Knock, please.'; Or you could just confront them as they do it. Or speak out in a meeting. Be assertive. If your office locks, try locking it while you're in, until they get used to knocking.
I would say for decorating, the more professional you go, the more people will respect you. Having a desk cluttered in junk, with tons of personal pictures won't help. A pic or two of family or friends, hang up an official document or nice, office friendly picture. Keep it warm with some curtains, and chairs for sitting. Warm, but professional. Without seeing more or knowing more about you I couldn't give more advice.How can I get the people I work with to respect my office more?
People who respect other have respect from others.
It has nothing to do with how your office is decorated. I would include chairs for other members of the Office to sit in and join you.
Neat, clean, contemporary office furnishings. Maybe a decorative sign that says ';respect';. Most of all, your attitude toward others determines how they will treat both you and your space. But it seams like you know that. Good Luck!
If your business allows it:
Shut the door and put up a sign that says ';Please knock before entering!';
Is it ok to de-friend people in Facebook?
So I am a little anxious about what people can see/find on me on the internet in general and Facebook in particular. I am trying to limit how much information makes it into the public sphere. So in doing so, I decided to go through my facebook and de-friend a bunch of ';friends';. My Facebook was starting to look like my highschool yearbook, with a few work people, family and a few other acquaintances mixed in.
I also remove posts, mine and others', some time after their relevance. I don't really want others who may not know the context of the conversation to read and bother me weeks later about something that is done and over.
All that said, is there an ettiquite or other protocol to follow? I have had a couple people, who spend way too much time on FB, come to or my wife complaining that ';he doesn't like me anymore?!'; I'm like, if someone were my friend before FB, they're still my friend. If you're my friend in RL, why cant you call or text me to say what's up? I understand the whole interconnection and community aspect that draws people closer, but seriously, are we sharing too much information? Is it unreasonable to ask for some arms length on some of what's said online? Has anyone else gone through similar stuff?Is it ok to de-friend people in Facebook?
Seems like it's your page - do what you want...Is it ok to de-friend people in Facebook?
If you disconnect, they won't know right away, until they actively try to write on your wall. You also have the option of hiding their comments from your wall, if that's all you want to do: they'll still be your friend. They could still bug you in person. The etiquette would be the same as, I would think, changing your phone number and not telling someone who had the old one and who used it, or moving from your apartment and not telling someone who used to visit. 驴Eh?
I have a buddy who knew my email address. The only way he kept in touch was to put me on a mailing list and send me daily jokes and mailings like ';forward this to 50 friends';. I asked him to take me off the mailing list. It hurt his feelings, and he has never sent an email again. So, that's the risk.
It is OK to make your own rules. Don't let others make you do things that make you uncomfortable.
~
On the flip side don't impose your rules on others.
You can just leave facebook
I also remove posts, mine and others', some time after their relevance. I don't really want others who may not know the context of the conversation to read and bother me weeks later about something that is done and over.
All that said, is there an ettiquite or other protocol to follow? I have had a couple people, who spend way too much time on FB, come to or my wife complaining that ';he doesn't like me anymore?!'; I'm like, if someone were my friend before FB, they're still my friend. If you're my friend in RL, why cant you call or text me to say what's up? I understand the whole interconnection and community aspect that draws people closer, but seriously, are we sharing too much information? Is it unreasonable to ask for some arms length on some of what's said online? Has anyone else gone through similar stuff?Is it ok to de-friend people in Facebook?
Seems like it's your page - do what you want...Is it ok to de-friend people in Facebook?
If you disconnect, they won't know right away, until they actively try to write on your wall. You also have the option of hiding their comments from your wall, if that's all you want to do: they'll still be your friend. They could still bug you in person. The etiquette would be the same as, I would think, changing your phone number and not telling someone who had the old one and who used it, or moving from your apartment and not telling someone who used to visit. 驴Eh?
I have a buddy who knew my email address. The only way he kept in touch was to put me on a mailing list and send me daily jokes and mailings like ';forward this to 50 friends';. I asked him to take me off the mailing list. It hurt his feelings, and he has never sent an email again. So, that's the risk.
It is OK to make your own rules. Don't let others make you do things that make you uncomfortable.
~
On the flip side don't impose your rules on others.
You can just leave facebook
It's so unfair, how come some people are born with natural beauty, but people like me are butt ugly?
ok, so yeh, when i was younger, i wouldn't give a **** about the way i looked, but as i got older, i began to get more self concious. Now that i'm 15, i HATE the way i look, seriously. My face is wayyy too long and so is my nose, it's long, thin and bumpy. I dont think i have one good feature, well maybe my teeth, but even they were because of braces. I know this may sound sorta vain and stupid wanting to be pretty, but i just cant ignore the way i look. I've never been called pretty in my life before (other than family members). Before, i used to like getting my photo taken, but now i hate it, i even hate looking in the mirror every morning. So i decided to make myself a better person personality wise, after all, people say that beauty comes from the inside, but even that doesn't work. People just seem to take advantage of me, telling me to do things for them etc. I was talking to these two girls and when i was walking off i heard one on them say 'aww..she's so nice....but it's a shame she hasn't got looks' then both of them started giggling. Sometimes i wonder why me? Why did i have to be soo ugly? My mum's really pretty and my dad's average lookin, so i don't get it. Plus, i have a friend whos really pretty, mainly because of her big green eyes, they're soo unique, people are ALWAYS commenting on them and saying how pretty she is. Now the thing is, she's so self obssessed, she KNOWS she's pretty and always tries to bring others down, making fun of the way they look. Once, we got a photo taken together and when she saw it, she started laughing at me in the photo. Why do people like that get given beauty when they're gonna treat others like that?It's so unfair, how come some people are born with natural beauty, but people like me are butt ugly?
I hate the way I look too...I hate taking pictures too!!! honestly people tell me I'm pretty but most of the time I'm insecure with myself. I think it just depends on your genes I guess. At least you have a thin nose...I have a wide flat nose and I hate it!!! you got good teeth....ha I don't I've been wanting to get braces for years. I hate my eyebrows, my eyelashes, my stretchmarks, my extra fat lol I could go on and on with the list...but honestly I would rather have a nice friend even if she or he is ugly rather than a mean rude pretty one. Like I know this guy he's a big nerd and at first I was like uughhh why is he trying talk to me? but then I just started talking to him and he's one of the few people I can tell things too without the worry of being juddged or gossiped about.It's so unfair, how come some people are born with natural beauty, but people like me are butt ugly?
Just so you know, a lot of people think they're butt ugly, simply because people look at themselves differently than they look at others. I'm sure you don't appear as ugly to others as you appear to yourself.
People don't take advantage of others because they're ugly, they take advantage of others because they're easy to take advantage of. If you don't want to do something for someone, you say, ';No, I'm not doing that.'; If you keep doing stuff for people that they really should be doing for themselves, they're going to keep milking that, because they know it works. Whether or not you're easy to take advantage of has nothing to do with looks. That's something you create for yourself based on your actions.
Some people are more aesthetically pleasing that others, yes, but that doesn't mean they're any better than anyone else. So just because you're not pretty doesn't mean you're not amazing. Everyone has something special about them, some place where their talent lies. You may not have found your particular niche yet, but it exists.
And if someone calls you ugly? They're the one with the problem. That's *incredibly* rude.
i actually have the opposite problem than you...i think.
i'm always being called beautiful or gorgeous or hot.
you might think i'd be conceited, but i'm actually pretty insecure.
i know usually girls envy ';beautiful girls';, but for me, beauty is a curse.
the first thing people notice about me is my looks, so i'm constantly
afraid that when i meet new people that they think i'm just a ';pretty face';.
or that people will be too intimidated to even talk to me.
i'm from Ukraine, and i lived there until i was eleven.
while i lived there, i was kidnapped once, and almost kidnapped 2 or 3 times.
it's disgusting what people will do just because they think you're beautiful.
i hate people always thinking i'm pretty, sometimes i just wish i could be average,
so i wouldn't have to deal with all that i go through every day.
:[ i'm jealous of you.
You think your ugly? I have no eyebrows or eyelashes. My hair is starting to fall out, I have bumps all over me along with a rash. This is what fighting for your life does to you. I bet your far from ugly, seriously. Enjoy you life.
You are only 15 you are going to be goofy looking. I think beauty just comes with age. Some people are lucky though and get it right from the start.
Natural selection.pc security asp net web hosting
I hate the way I look too...I hate taking pictures too!!! honestly people tell me I'm pretty but most of the time I'm insecure with myself. I think it just depends on your genes I guess. At least you have a thin nose...I have a wide flat nose and I hate it!!! you got good teeth....ha I don't I've been wanting to get braces for years. I hate my eyebrows, my eyelashes, my stretchmarks, my extra fat lol I could go on and on with the list...but honestly I would rather have a nice friend even if she or he is ugly rather than a mean rude pretty one. Like I know this guy he's a big nerd and at first I was like uughhh why is he trying talk to me? but then I just started talking to him and he's one of the few people I can tell things too without the worry of being juddged or gossiped about.It's so unfair, how come some people are born with natural beauty, but people like me are butt ugly?
Just so you know, a lot of people think they're butt ugly, simply because people look at themselves differently than they look at others. I'm sure you don't appear as ugly to others as you appear to yourself.
People don't take advantage of others because they're ugly, they take advantage of others because they're easy to take advantage of. If you don't want to do something for someone, you say, ';No, I'm not doing that.'; If you keep doing stuff for people that they really should be doing for themselves, they're going to keep milking that, because they know it works. Whether or not you're easy to take advantage of has nothing to do with looks. That's something you create for yourself based on your actions.
Some people are more aesthetically pleasing that others, yes, but that doesn't mean they're any better than anyone else. So just because you're not pretty doesn't mean you're not amazing. Everyone has something special about them, some place where their talent lies. You may not have found your particular niche yet, but it exists.
And if someone calls you ugly? They're the one with the problem. That's *incredibly* rude.
i actually have the opposite problem than you...i think.
i'm always being called beautiful or gorgeous or hot.
you might think i'd be conceited, but i'm actually pretty insecure.
i know usually girls envy ';beautiful girls';, but for me, beauty is a curse.
the first thing people notice about me is my looks, so i'm constantly
afraid that when i meet new people that they think i'm just a ';pretty face';.
or that people will be too intimidated to even talk to me.
i'm from Ukraine, and i lived there until i was eleven.
while i lived there, i was kidnapped once, and almost kidnapped 2 or 3 times.
it's disgusting what people will do just because they think you're beautiful.
i hate people always thinking i'm pretty, sometimes i just wish i could be average,
so i wouldn't have to deal with all that i go through every day.
:[ i'm jealous of you.
You think your ugly? I have no eyebrows or eyelashes. My hair is starting to fall out, I have bumps all over me along with a rash. This is what fighting for your life does to you. I bet your far from ugly, seriously. Enjoy you life.
You are only 15 you are going to be goofy looking. I think beauty just comes with age. Some people are lucky though and get it right from the start.
Natural selection.
How do you handle conflict at work?
Since finishing college last year, I've been in retail and similar jobs (office setting now). I think I am a good communicator and effective at the work I do- it is not skilled work. Co-workers seem extremely critical of me, and they seem to have a lot of time to find many faults with my work. People go out of their way to make me look bad.
I have a lot of experience in this area, as it is the same thing I did while I was in college and high school- just different places...however I have always been viewed as very friendly up until now.
Please help me understand how I will deal with this for the rest of my working life.How do you handle conflict at work?
1 - No matter where you work, there are always people like the one's you are talking about.
2 - Just do your job to the best of your ability and try to ignore these people.
3 - If things get too bad, go to your Supervisor and if they can't/won't help, then go to the HR dept.
*****************************How do you handle conflict at work?
do the same to them
Eye for an eye that's how people learn
But you're better off confronting them in the moment later on
Talk to your HR person or supervisor.
I don't know if this is applicable to you are not, but perhaps is food for thought. Perhaps it is you that has changed given that you have since graduated from college. You have stated that your job is ';unskilled'; work and it may be that you are putting out there that you are ';above'; this line of work given that you now have a college education. If you have always been viewed as friendly until now, it sounds as if something has happened with you. Conversely, perhaps they are intimidated by your education--but again, that is something that has to do with how you may be presenting yourself.
I have learned in my life that when things suddenly change, the answer usually rests within. Good luck finding the answer.
I have a lot of experience in this area, as it is the same thing I did while I was in college and high school- just different places...however I have always been viewed as very friendly up until now.
Please help me understand how I will deal with this for the rest of my working life.How do you handle conflict at work?
1 - No matter where you work, there are always people like the one's you are talking about.
2 - Just do your job to the best of your ability and try to ignore these people.
3 - If things get too bad, go to your Supervisor and if they can't/won't help, then go to the HR dept.
*****************************How do you handle conflict at work?
do the same to them
Eye for an eye that's how people learn
But you're better off confronting them in the moment later on
Talk to your HR person or supervisor.
I don't know if this is applicable to you are not, but perhaps is food for thought. Perhaps it is you that has changed given that you have since graduated from college. You have stated that your job is ';unskilled'; work and it may be that you are putting out there that you are ';above'; this line of work given that you now have a college education. If you have always been viewed as friendly until now, it sounds as if something has happened with you. Conversely, perhaps they are intimidated by your education--but again, that is something that has to do with how you may be presenting yourself.
I have learned in my life that when things suddenly change, the answer usually rests within. Good luck finding the answer.
What do you tell people who just do not understand that you don't have as much time to do things as they do?
I'm a really busy person and I like to do well in school. I'm on scholarship, and I will only remain on scholarship as long as I keep up my grades. My problem is that I have friends and family that just do not understand. They keep asking me to drop my studying for ';just a couple of hours'; and hang out with them. I can't. If I do it once for one person, everyone else is going to bother me until I give in again. And I don't even have the time to do it once. I'm so sick of people bothering me. I don't want to alienate anyone, but it might be the only way to get out of this. It's actually really depressing, because the more they bother me, the worse I feel and then I'm concentrating on how horrible I feel instead of concentrating on my work. People have told me to relax and do yoga, but I do not have the time. I just don't. I have a really heavy course load and I'm just going to have to tough it out for now, but I just wish people would understand. I have tried to explain, more than once, to everyone. Everyone seems to have all the time in the world, and I don't. I don't even know why I'm writing this anymore. Maybe I just need to vent. Please comment..What do you tell people who just do not understand that you don't have as much time to do things as they do?
I had a similar problem. Not being very gifted in any way meant that I had to work harder than some others. I didn't have wealthy parents either. Most of the people I studied with seemed to have all of the advantages that I lacked and my parents wanted to see me too.
In the end I made a calender that listed every day of the month and what I was doing, There were study hours, exercise hours, study hours, friends hours, study hours and family hours. Doing it this way helped me avoid being some kind of recluse, I only lost contact with friends I didn't really need and my family would have dates to work with and plan for. It helped all of the people I cared for and who cared for me and it helped me keep a balance that was acceptable (maybe reluctantly) to all. I did OK, and got a good position, and have the same friends and didn't lose my family. You can do it too!What do you tell people who just do not understand that you don't have as much time to do things as they do?
all u can do is explain it, but u need not repeat yourseldf. if they dont understand, then that's THEIR loss
I had a similar problem. Not being very gifted in any way meant that I had to work harder than some others. I didn't have wealthy parents either. Most of the people I studied with seemed to have all of the advantages that I lacked and my parents wanted to see me too.
In the end I made a calender that listed every day of the month and what I was doing, There were study hours, exercise hours, study hours, friends hours, study hours and family hours. Doing it this way helped me avoid being some kind of recluse, I only lost contact with friends I didn't really need and my family would have dates to work with and plan for. It helped all of the people I cared for and who cared for me and it helped me keep a balance that was acceptable (maybe reluctantly) to all. I did OK, and got a good position, and have the same friends and didn't lose my family. You can do it too!What do you tell people who just do not understand that you don't have as much time to do things as they do?
all u can do is explain it, but u need not repeat yourseldf. if they dont understand, then that's THEIR loss
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